Monday, September 10, 2018
Grandma, you will be missed, but you will not be forgotten. You have played a tremendous role in helping make me the person I am today and I will always get to cherish the over thirty years of memories that we made together.
Our relationship evolved over time as all relationships do. When I was a young child, Grandpa and you invested countless hours into me, helping with flash cards and other valuable lessons for a toddler. You would babysit me when my parents were working and I was always loved and cared for. As the years went on, your house was always a safe place. I have many fond memories of the time spent together, and playing card games like Canasta at Limoges. You were always there for birthdays and holidays, making sure that you played a central role in my (and my brothers) lives. As a teenager, my relationship with you evolved again, and you began to take on a role of friend and confidant. You were always willing to listen to my stories or (mis)adventures, and to be there when I needed you. You were always there.
In university, I remember how our relationship grew again when Grandpa got sick, and when he passed away. For an ever so brief window of time, our relationship was as friends and equals. I had the pleasure of getting to know you better. You always made time for me. I will cherish the memories of those years, getting to go to breakfast (at lunch time) with you, getting to play cards, and going to movies together. I remember the support you provided to me when I left home to attend law school. You always were willing to talk to me and be my friend. No matter how dark the world got, you were always there.
When I finished law school, our relationship changed again. It wasn’t for the best this time, Grandma, but I wouldn’t change it for the world, because it meant I got to spend more time with you. Not everyone gets that; and I promise you I am grateful for the extra years it bought me. After you moved in with mom and dad, to the Queenswood Villa, I got to be there for you like you were there for me. I was able to be your friend and support worker. You showed me another side of you then; the strong willed woman who managed to raise seven children, one of which became my mom, and demonstrated a remarkable strength of will. It was a challenge to convince you to come out for activities if you decided you did not want to go; my only regret is not being able to convince you more often.
As time went on, and you moved back in with mom and dad, our relationship evolved once more. The dementia had robbed you of the woman you were once most days, and it was like our lives had come full circle from the beginning thirty years ago; except now you were the one in need of care. I did my best Grandma, and while I admit I really didn’t like the Dice game, I will miss playing with you and convincing you to roll the dice, and then your frustration at paying $0.10. I wish we could play some more now, and I wish we had played on the long weekend, the last time I saw you alive. I never thought I would be writing this because you had died a few days later. I wish I could have known that would be the last time I would get to give you a hug and say goodbye.
I will miss you Grandma. I do love you and I will remember you. I cannot say our experience was too short; you were there for me for over 30 years which most people do not get to say. I was fortunate that I was able to have you present at every major milestone in my life, from my university and law school graduation, to meeting the love of my life, to being present at my wedding. I wish I could have introduced you to my kids, like my brothers were able to do, and I did try, but I’m sorry I wasn’t able to make it happen. And I’m sorry that trying to make the next generation might result in me not being able to make it on Saturday… I really want to be there. I know that you loved your children, your grandchildren, and your great-grand children, and that if I can’t make it, you would have understood. Thirty years of lessons from you have taught me the importance of family.
We have now entered the final stage of our relationship, Grandma… The one that sadly began on Thursday, September 6, 2018, when you left this world and were finally at peace. As I grieve and cry writing this, it now falls to us, your family, to carry forward your memory and life, and many lessons you taught us over a long life filled with many different experiences and memories. I will do my best, and I will make sure that if I have children one day, they know about you too. Thank you for everything. I love you and I promise that Grandpa and you will always be remembered.
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